He was an elderly man whose face had life written all over it. He sat drinking tea as he reflected on his life:
When I was young, I was full of fire and I wanted to awaken everyone. I prayed for enough strength to change the world.
In midlife, I awoke one day to realize my life was half over and I had changed no one. I prayed for strength to change those close around me, who so much needed it.
And now, here I am a very old man, and my prayer today is very simple. I pray for the strength to at least change myself
In life we must learn to first assemble the inner, than the outer.
We must first acknowledge the important rather than the insignificant.
We must recognize the great rather then the trivial.
We must first lead ourselves, and then only then we can lead others.
Whether you call it prayer, meditation, or some other name, you can each learn something every day by asking these questions and reflecting on the answers.
Who am I?
Until you identify your authentic self, it is difficult to effectively lead. When you make a conscious commitment to know yourself, develop yourself, learn about yourself, you are allowing yourself to change step by step. Knowing yourself is a process that can only take place internally.
What is my purpose?
There is an amazing sense of empowerment that comes when you identify what you are meant to do. It grows out of learning what matters most to you. Once you have it, it provides direction and focus, it brings clarity, it establishes goals. It helps you achieve results and stay connected to meaningful thought and action.
Who do I want to be?
As Michael Jackson sang, if you want to make this world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change. Who you are going to be is rooted in your talents and skills and fueled by your passion.
The only place you can truly create change is within you.
The essence of leadership is not in telling of others what to do, but in being your best self and inspiring those around you to do the same.
Lead From Within: Most of us want to make the world a better place. To do so, we must start within ourselves, where we are, making one change at a time, and we must not stop reflecting until we are done.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
Alli Polin
15. Apr, 2014
Change really does start from within. For years I’ve been doing the inner work, learning so much about myself and the way my way of being impacts others in the world. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that it’s never done. There is always more room to grow, places to look and long-held beliefs to better understand. Along the way purpose can shift as we know more about who we truly are and most want to become.
Great story to start as well, Lolly!
lollydaskal
15. Apr, 2014
Alli
You are so right change starts with ourselves.
But for so many they are so busy wanting to change others, they don’t stop and look in the mirror.
If we reflecting more about ourselves and how we can do better, we would have a much better world, a much richer society, and much more meaningful relationships.
Thanks for stopping by.
Lolly
Martina
15. Apr, 2014
Well-said, Lolly.
We are at the heart of any changes we wish to make in our lives, families, teams or organizations. We cannot change other people, but we can demonstrate an ability to take in new information and make changes in ourselves. We cannot often change situations or circumstances, but we can master how we choose to react to them.
As leaders, one of our duties is to exemplify the behaviors we seek in others. We cannot continue to be recalcitrant, locked in the past, and refuse to make any changes in our attitudes or behaviors, and expect those around us, and especially those we lead, to act or feel any differently.
Jon Mertz
15. Apr, 2014
Lolly,
Excellent points! We need to tap into our purpose-filled identity and then develop it, letting it shine from our inside out while letting our communities feed our spirit to keep growing and doing.
Thanks!
Jon
LaRae Quy
15. Apr, 2014
Great story, Lolly. And so true…change begins from within.
This is something I learned a few years back when I did the 30 day Ignatian Retreat. It’s intense, but the purpose is to provide a framework where you can’t run away from yourself.
It’s hard work to get to the center of our being and begin that inner work…it’s not for the weak hearted…
Maria Garcia
16. Apr, 2014
Wow, what a great post Lolly, you don’t stop surprising me! It is so true, that sometimes we are so busy trying to change other that we fail to change ourselves, and like LaRae commented getting to the center of our being is not for the weak hearted, so I will take the challenge to change my self before trying to change others, or better yet get to know my self better each day and modify my being everyday, little by little. After all being in leadership position of any kind is not an easy journey, but it’s not an impossible one either
Love this post will frame it as a reminder, lol so timely too :-))
Terri Klass
16. Apr, 2014
Looking inside of ourselves and being honest in how we might go about making change can be a challenge and very hard work. Yet, if we don’t reflect, we can’t lead in our best possible way.
Leadership growth involves asking why we are here and where it is we want to go. It is ever-changing in a healthy way.
Great post, Lolly!
sridhar laxman
16. Apr, 2014
Lolly
Another great post, your point about learning to lead ourselves first before we can lead others hits the nail on its head.
Change that begins from within has a ripple effect on the outside. Taking greater responsibility for self may seem challenging however, is a crucial step in making the inner change happen and once adopted is extremely empowering.
Lolly
22. Apr, 2014
This is the thing I struggle with the most. I want to inspire others to create change for themselves and I want to make the world a better place… and I know I have to start with myself, but I can’t seem to get it started.
This post was very inspiring… hope to get to where I need to be soon! xo
Matt Chase
19. Aug, 2015
Amazing article and very enlightening! It spells out precisely the internal process we all have at any given age, in reaching forward, higher.
Thank you Lollie!
Matt Dyer
14. Nov, 2015
I went on a leadership course the other day and a lot of what you have discussed resonates in this article, a big take away from the course was about listening, and not just listening to others you need to listen to yourself as well.
thanks for your post
David mbina
13. Feb, 2017
Lolly I tell you the truth, that since I started following you I am full of knowledge I drop my position as a leader because I was not doing well, but I am going back to take that position and I will lead from within. Thank you lolly
Dr. Jerome Davis
11. May, 2022
Reflecting on the inside is really what makes us good people. Leadership change, especially in education, requires those who are leading the change to really take a deep look within themselves to see and understand the value of change to make things better for those they serve.