We all seem to spend a lot of time wishing.
We wish we were taller, richer, smarter.
We wish our businesses were more successful and our teams more productive.
But what would it sound like if we could change our wishes to wondering?
What different mindset would it bring?
Wishing is hoping for something- even something impossible—to happen.
Wondering is being curious about what will happen.
Wishing speaks of scarcity.
Wondering speaks of inquisitiveness.
Wishing is about wanting and yearning.
Wondering is about creating and inquiring.
When we inquire, we dream. When we are curious, we learn.
Try this: Take out a piece of paper. On the left side write down all the things you wish for. Your list might look like this:
- I wish I were happier.
- I wish I could lose weight.
- I wish I was in love.
- I wish the deal wasn’t falling apart.
- I wish my business was more successful.
- I wish my team was more productive.
- I wish my boss was not such a bully.
Keep writing until you feel you have written down all your wishes.
On the right side, turn each wish into an inquiry, something to wonder about:
- I wonder what is like to be happier.
- I wonder how I can lose weight.
- I wonder what it’s like to be in love.
- I wonder if the business deal will go through.
- I wonder how I can make my team more productive.
- I wonder what I can do to have a better relationship with my boss.
When you put “I wonder” in your life, you access your mind to inquiry.
When we become curious about our lives we are not trapped in the drama of wanting something and not getting it.
We can handle what may come because we are intrigued about what it will be.
I wonder… allows us to have a better handle on our professional and personal lives, it helps us drop our need for control, because life is not ours to control.
Lead From Within: Take the pressure off yourself. Do not wish, do not hope—just be curious about what happens and let the wisdom of wonderment always work for you.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
Martina
09. Jul, 2013
Excellent advice Lolly. You are of course, correct. Wondering invites us to do more. It invites us to map out the steps it will take to get from “here” to “there.”
Wondering helps us move toward concrete action, which is what is ultimately required to make any wish or hope or dream come true.
lollydaskal
09. Jul, 2013
Again Martina you make my thoughts and heart expand with your insight.
It is true what you say, Wondering helps us move toward concrete action, which is what is ultimately required to make any wish or hope or dream come true.
And if we can only remember instead of only wishing.
we would be way ahead of our being disappointed, frustrated and overwhelmed.
Thanks again for all that you do.
Lolly
Badiru
13. Jul, 2013
Hi dear
To me wondering may some times result into some ones passion and as such it is very vital to keep wondering but react as well to your wonders because if you donot react you may just decline in what so ever you are doing.
David F Stannard
24. Jul, 2017
That is a tremendous way of thinking. I love it! #Leadership #Leadershipwithin #Woodbadge #Leadershipdevelopment.
I wonder if more people in the US, like us, will advocate for domestic adoption over international? #LetsAdoptOurOwnFirst #AdoptSiblingGroups
Mukhtar
09. Jul, 2013
Wondering nurtures innovation and inquiry into the possibilities of achieving the wonders that one believes are possible
Panteli Tritchew
09. Jul, 2013
Lovely, lovely, lovely post, Lolly.
It twinkles, twinkles, like the little star
That we all wondered about…
…..as children
Wonderful reminder to be wonder-full.
🙂 Panteli
Wayne McEvilly
09. Jul, 2013
Lolly:
I admire the brilliance of your brevity. You say so much in so brief a space of time.
The essential technique you suggest here is universally applicable – put to work, it is a mind-changer for the better, more positive, more relaxed, happier outcome –
I wish more people would take it to heart. Oh, on second thought, I wonder what the result when many people begin to apply this? Will the clouds lift, or what?
Yo! Here come’s the sun!
Love,
Wayne
lollydaskal
09. Jul, 2013
Wayne,
Your comment made me laugh out loud at the computer.
I wish more people would take it to heart. Oh, on second thought, I wonder what the result when many people begin to apply this? Will the clouds lift, or what?.
WONDER with me Wayne, your magical soul will do wonders for those who need your guidance.
Thanks for stopping by.
Lolly
Praveen Kumar
09. Jul, 2013
Lolly,
Wonderful post… i feels like feeling early morning sunshine.. such a inspirational words you use.. which are simply happening/thinking/doing in our daily life’s.. you are really great on how you describe the scenario.. i always admire on your motto.. your interest to help people to change there mind set was amazing.. However you are trying hard from your side.. its always matters how people receive it & apply it on there life’s.. But still i inspired and will share your words to my connections..
Have a wonderful times & wish to see more and more to come..
God Bless You.
Praveen
lollydaskal
09. Jul, 2013
To wonder is to dream.. to dream is to learn.
Alexander
09. Jul, 2013
….but wondering alone can not be sufficient impetus to improvement of the present predicament….he who wonders searches within for a solution…but suffice it to say that only what is inside will come out with or without ingenuity….he who studies and researches will swallow knowledge that will lead to a solution….it may be lead from within but it must be learn from without….u must forgive me for playing the devils advocate….it is for want of being refuted in order to learn….and be better….
John Paul
11. Jul, 2013
Alex, wisdom is knowledge applied and wisdom begins in wonder.
Dr. Rae
09. Jul, 2013
What synchronicity Lolly…
Wonder is the concept we used today for our StressTip, StressQuestion, and StressByte posted on Twitter, Facebook, and G+
Thank you for sharing your perspective! ~Rae
Dr. Rae
09. Jul, 2013
Sorry…
Website typo correction!
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
wondering is a release of the mind of always having to do what is right, perfect and immediate.
Dr. Rae
10. Jul, 2013
So true…
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
SYNCHRONICITY it is! Love when that happens.
Dr. Rae
10. Jul, 2013
Me too…
Simon Harvey
09. Jul, 2013
Lolly your mind is a wonder of beauty, a joy to behold. And yes we should let go of wishes and let wonder open our eyes to the world around.
I love your title “Leadership of Wonder” as it conjures up endless possibilities and limitless goals, all floating in a vast sea of thought.
I wonder what will come as more and more people see the possibilities that wonder can bring, the doors it reveals, the compassion it can reveal. When we open our minds and heart to wonder there is a rainbow of discovery to be found.
Love the post and your heart, looking forward to the chat tonight. I wonder what my heart will reveal .
Warmest,
Simon
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
Thanks for stopping by Simon and adding to the essence of the post. I loved when you expressed wonderment as… it conjures up endless possibilities and limitless goals, all floating in a vast sea of thought.
So true, WONDERMENT opens the door for so much. POSSIBILITIES – which are limitless!
Lets put wishing and hoping aside for awhile and lets give wondering a CHANCE.
Lolly
Blair Glaser
09. Jul, 2013
Thanks for another inspiring read, Lolly.
After reading the list of wishes, I found myself filled up with the sensation of choking and was reminded of how we suffocate ourselves with wishes.
Then you opened the door to wonder and let all that fresh air in.
It was perfect timing: I just came from a an opening weekend in which people, speakers, leaders and adventures wrestled with wishes and dreams and ultimately opened to wonder and connection.
I wonder where you will wander next!
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
Blair
Sounds like a very empowering weekend.
Next week join me for another one of those WISHING attitudes that keep us stuck.
Stay tuned!
Lolly
Terri Klass
10. Jul, 2013
I loved how you juxtaposed wondering and wishing, Lolly! I never thought about wondering in such a focused way. But I do agree that wishing makes us only dream without taking any kind of action. When we lead with intent and wonder, we become more empowered and authentic leaders. Thanks Lolly!
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
WONDERment = empowerment
That equation is powerful.
Thanks Terri!
Bill Benoist
10. Jul, 2013
I think your post did an excellent job of demonstrating the qualities of leadership. Can you imagine if Kennedy wished America could go to the moon – and stopped there? If King wished for equality, but never wondered how, or Gandhi wished for independence but then moved on to the next item on his wish list. Wishing vs Wondering – I Love It ☺
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
So true Bill.
If we keep wishing we keep prolonging what may come.
Thanks for your WONDERful illustration how WONDERING can be used.
Thanks
Lolly
FARAYI MHERE
10. Jul, 2013
THIS IS GREAT THINK ING MADAM THANK IT HELPS US A LOT TO OPEN MY MIND I AM OPENED NOW
Jay
10. Jul, 2013
Excellent perspective Lolly!! Thank you.
Jay
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
Thank you Jay! Appreciate that you stopped by to comment.
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
To WONDER allows us to have moments of SUSPENSION so we can see and do and feel what we truly want.
Kent Williams
10. Jul, 2013
Well said. I wonder how I can use this post with my team . . . 🙂
lollydaskal
10. Jul, 2013
In a very WONDERful way Kent.
Repa
10. Jul, 2013
With wonder, we stay grounded in the present moment rather than wishing it were different. In this way we can be fully present for the wonderful things that happen to us right now.
Karin Hurt
10. Jul, 2013
wonder leads to hope… hope wondered well can lead to important action. Great post.
lollydaskal
11. Jul, 2013
Hoping is another word for wishing.
Wondering is more of a day dream. no expectations but allowing what needs to happen to happen.
Wishing and hoping is looking out a window.
Wondering is opening the window.
Lolly
Zou,Miaomiao
11. Jul, 2013
You writes a new points here. It is great when you writes, “Wondering is about creating, allowing, seeing, and inquiring”. I have never think about “wondering” in this way before I read your blog post. After reading your writing I found myself can be simulated by use “I wonder…” thinking. It is true we will forces ourselves to find something if we wonder about it. We cannot just live with wish,and we do not wonder because wonder leads us to find and to think.
lollydaskal
11. Jul, 2013
Zou
with I WONDER comes suspension. We let go of what we thought we want – and we let come in what we really need.
I WONDER brings us closer to our purpose.
Lolly
John Paul
11. Jul, 2013
Socrates may have said it but you nailed it. What a wonderful turn of the light switch, mindset. It truly changes everything. You never cease to amaze me, Lolly and i think you are truly a gem, absolutely wonderful!
lollydaskal
11. Jul, 2013
Thank you so much John Paul. It is always great to see your comments.
Lolly
Walter Pascal
11. Jul, 2013
Einstein used to spend his time looking at the most simplest of things happening in our universe with a child-like wonder that ultimately led him to discover the most astounding theories in Astrophysics.
lollydaskal
11. Jul, 2013
Walter exactly that is the kind of WONDERING I am addressing! Thank you so much for illustrating it in a real life role model.
Now we just have to emulate it ourselves.
Lolly
dawoodchishti
12. Jul, 2013
Metamorphosis of wandering into wonderment is the magic your beautiful soul. Excellent post, Lolly, it is.
dawoodchishti
12. Jul, 2013
Metamorphosis of wandering into wonderment is the magic of your beautiful soul. Excellent post, Lolly, it is.
dawoodchishti
12. Jul, 2013
Lolly,
You have instigated a paradigm shift from idleness to activism through your ‘Wisdom of Wonderment’
http://www.onedatefoc.us/index.php?m=member_blog&p=view&id=8353&sid=9268
14. May, 2014
Yes! Finally someone writes about leadership theory.
lollydaskal
22. May, 2014
Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” – John Fitzgerald Kennedy