There will always be some people who bring out the best in us, and some who bring out the worst.
If you’ve ever been stuck with one of the latter–maybe a co-worker or boss, a close friend’s spouse, or even a family member–it can be difficult to cope.
But here’s the good news: There are effective, learnable strategies for dealing with people you really bug you.
Once you know what needs to be done and how to do it, you will be able to take charge of unpleasant situations and redirect them toward worthwhile results.
1. Learn how to adjust your attitude.
You can’t change people, but you can change yourself. Before you even begin to deal with how this person annoys and frustrates you, you can take control of the situation by making sure your attitude and behavior are calm and centered.
2. Make a point of getting to know them.
Learn as much as you can about them. Find out their story; figure out what motivates them. The more you know, the more compassionate you can become.
3. Learn to listen, and listen actively.
Be ready with open ears and heart. Really listen. Listen to understand. Listen to learn. Listen so you can make a deeper connection. Most people who bug us just want to be heard and understood.
4. Share priorities and not problems.
When dealing with difficult people, we tend to concentrate on difficulties. Change it up and talk about the priorities you share. It may be a starting place for mutual understanding.
5. Master how to stand united.
United we stand, but divided we can’t stand each other. Conflict occurs when the emphasis is on differences. Again, look for common ground. Mutuality can turn conflict into collaboration.
6. Expect what you project.
People rise or fall to the level of your expectations and projections. Project positivity and you will get it back in return.
Dealing with a person that bugs you doesn’t necessarily have to bring out the worst in you. Instead, it can be an opportunity for growth and learning, and a relationship that may never make it to BFF but can at least be cordial and productive.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.