There are many ways we can interfere with our own best interest–some obvious, others more subtle.
There are ways we can be our own worst enemy, as with many things awareness is half the battle. Ask yourself the following 11 questions.
See which pertain to you and what areas you need to rethink.
1. Do you put yourself down? Do you say things about yourself that makes you feel that you’re not worthy of success, if you are, it’s almost certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ultimately you’re in control of one person and that person is you, so be honest with yourself, but make sure that you treat yourself with positivity and encouragement.
2. Do you give up easily? When you stop trying, your odds of success go to zero. Everyone fails and makes mistakes. Everyone faces dead ends and false turns sometimes. Mistakes bring you closer to your goals and give you opportunities for learning. When the going gets tough, keep moving.
3. Do you allow others to determine your worth? Choose to be true to yourself when you’re misunderstood. Even if you risk ridicule, if you know your own worth (see No. 1 above) you won’t ever settle for less or let anyone else determine your value.
4. Do have a lot of negative thoughts? You cannot live a positive life with a negative attitude. Negativity is the surest way to kill a dream and stall your progress toward your goals. Pay attention to where your mind tends to rest, and if it’s in the realm of worries, doubts, and obstacles, reorient your thinking.
5. Do you make yourself constantly unhappy? Ultimately there is only one person who can make you happy or unhappy, and that’s you. Of course there will be momentary times of happiness or sadness, but your everyday state is more a reflection of your state of mind than of any circumstances. Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.
6. Do you have unrealistic expectations? It’s great to be optimistic and aim high–but if you don’t stay grounded you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and unhappiness. Try to give up the notion of how things should be and focus on how they are and what’s ambitiously but realistically possible.
7. Do you compare yourself to others? Whatever it is that you want or aspire to, there will always be some people who already have it. Realize that you are who you need to be and that your journey is uniquely yours, and don’t compare yourself to anyone except your own best self.
8. Do you constantly.make excuses? Don’t let what you cannot do stop you from what you can. Excuses waste precious time. They don’t solve anything, they don’t persuade anyone, and they don’t help you learn. Instead focus on the kind of accountability that builds responsibility and trust.
9. Do you hold onto things too long? To let go and move on is not easy. Remember that letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or negating the experience; it gives you room to incorporate the experience and be thankful for it while freeing you to find a new direction.
10. Do you keep doing the same things over and over again? And are you surprised that nothing has changed? If you are not trying something new you are recreating the old. Stop repeating the same patterns and start working to find new solutions.
11. Are you often indecisive? It’s good to think things through and not be hasty, but failing to make a decision is a form of passivity that will keep you stuck. The odds are very high that no decision you actively make will be as big a cause for regret as sitting and watching opportunities pass you by.
It’s an important part of the process of self-awareness to seek out all the ways you hinder yourself so you can give yourself and your team your best effort. You deserve nothing less!
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.